All human beings are social by nature and it is important for everybody, whatever their age, to maintain a social connection to others in some shape or form, in order to be happy and also healthy.

Unfortunately, the older we get, the more likely that we are to spend more time alone than we did in our younger years. For most of our lives we tend to be surrounded by a group of peers during the years of full-time education and then later on throughout our careers or bringing up a family. Indeed, for many their career is all part and parcel of their social life and brings with it a sense of self-esteem that can diminish during retirement for some people.

Even for those without careers there tend to be groups of similar like-minded people with whom to socialise. Such as groups of stay-at-home mothers who socialise with their families. And of course, we may have other family members and friends who provide the bedrock of our social lives.

However, as we age, we are likely to retire from working full-time our children have grown up and are leading their own lives, and so we begin to lose contact with colleagues and friends, especially if we have moved away to a new area in retirement. Friends and family also begin to get older themselves and close family members and friends we relied on may pass away.

So for some people old age can seem to be associated with a diminishing social life and fewer people close to us. But it doesn’t have to be like this. It is possible to start a new type of social life and make new friends whatever your age, and there will be many people in similar situations who also wish to build a new later social life.

Not everything in life is within our control but it is possible to minimise loneliness and the consequent effects on health by planning our later life.

How Loneliness Causes Health Issues in The Elderly

Loneliness has always been a problem within the elderly community, but it has become particularly bad with the rise in technology that stops people needing to speak to each other face to face everyday.

We can now email or message friends and family instead of speaking to them on the phone or in person. We can now have a week’s worth of shopping delivered to our front door instead of going out to the shops several times a week; and local banks are fast becoming a thing of the past as the population turns to internet banking as the favoured method of managing personal finances.

So the everyday contact with the bank cashier, the shopkeeper or the pharmacist is becoming a rarer event, making even these brief social encounters less likely. Add that to the likelihood of losing contact with old friends and colleagues and it’s not so difficult to see how loneliness can creep up on those who had previously led very sociable lives.

Studies and investigations over the years are showing more and more health issues associated with loneliness, making it a much more dangerous epidemic than previously thought. Here are some statistics and facts associated with loneliness in the elderly and how  it affects their health:

• Lonely elderly people show high levels of functional decline
• Lonely people are 50% more likely to die than those who are not lonely, compared to nearly 30% of obese people in comparison to non obese people
• Lonely people are more likely to suffer from depression, heart conditions, diabetes and high blood pressure
• Loneliness causes a decrease in the effectiveness of a person’s immune system

These are stark facts, but actually, quite common these days as a lot of evidence continues to flow into the public domain about loneliness and how bad it is for physical and mental health.

Research Into The Physical and Mental Effects of Loneliness

Recognising Loneliness

Loneliness is not simply about being alone for much of the time. Some people are perfectly happy living alone and spending time alone but may have what they consider a good social life even if this means meeting up with friends only once a month. Other people may need much more frequent contact to avoid feeling lonely. So each of us is different in our feelings about being alone and how often we are alone.

What is clear is that there are different types of loneliness but fundamentally it is an unwanted lack of company; being alone when we would rather be with friends or family.

Loneliness can be the result of missing a spouse, sibling or close friend we have known for many years who has passed away or become physically of mentally incapacitated.

People can also feel lonely when they lack a larger group of friends.

It should be recognised, however, that loneliness can be experienced at any stage of life and can be a temporary feeling when, for example you have to spend a birthday or bank holiday alone for some reason. This type of temporary loneliness is quite different from a permanent feeling of loneliness.

It is also worth recognising that loneliness and social isolation are not necessarily the same thing. Some people are lonely because they have no close companions but may have an active social life with acquaintances.

Helping Yourself Be Less Lonely

Invite people for coffee

If you’re feeling socially isolated why not simply invite someone for a coffee. It doesn’t need to be a big affair – even just one friend or neighbour could provide an enjoyable hour or two of company for your both. And all you will need to do is pop the kettle on and buy a packet of biscuits. Remember that there are probably other people out there that you know feeling the same and they would really appreciate an invitation.

Telephone a friend of relative

Chatting on the phone is another great way to prevent loneliness – it may not quite be the same as a face-to-face chat but it comes pretty close. So simply grab your address book and handset and dial that number – it doesn’t get easier to avoid feeling lonely.

If there is no-one you can call then a number of charities can help out – see below in our section on “Charities That Work To Minimise Loneliness”.

Learn to use a computer or tablet

When relatives and old friends don’t live nearby a good way to keep in touch is via a PC, laptop or tablet (such as an iPad). These are especially good for keeping in touch with younger generations.

Don’t worry about all the complexities of the technology available on a computer simply learn to use email and Skype and it could change your life. Ask children or grandchildren next time they visit to show you how (and write down their instructions in case you forget!).

With access to these 2 simple tools you can receive photos from relatives and friends, exchange emails about what they and you have been up to lately; and chat to them on Skype free of charge.

If you become particularly adept at the technology you may even be able to reconnect with old friends through the various social media networks available. Don’t be put off by having to learn new technology – it really is worth the effort and not as hard as you might imagine. Plenty of people in their 80’s and 90’s have mastered email and social media.

And if you don’t have anyone to show you how to use a computer check out you local library which may hold courses in basic computer skills.

Become a Volunteer

Everyone, especially older people, have skills and experience gained over a lifetime and my volunteering those skills you can help others whilst helping yourself. Even if your skills only stretch to making a decent cup of tea or baking some cookies why not use them? It will give you a reason to make some plans to get out of the house and meet some new people. What have you got to lose? Nothing. And What might you gain? Perhaps a new social circle or simply one new friend to chat to.

There are always organisations looking for volunteers for numerous activities that appreciate the experience of older people. Charity shops and offices, hospitals, schools, libraries, churches and other religious groups are just some of the many places that could always do with a helping hand.

Become Active in Your Local Community

Depending on where you live there could be a number of community activities that would welcome you – choirs, book clubs, quiz nights, bridge clubs are just a few of the activities that could be within local reach. Or what about the Women’s Institute, the Rotary Club or Royal British Legion if you are a former member of the armed forces?

And remember if this sort of thing isn’t within easy reach for you get in touch with a group that interests you and they may be able to offer a lift with another member.

Get Out of The House

Don’t stay cooped up at home on your own – make an effort to get out and about even if it is just to the local shop or the library. Or if you know someone who lives nearby ask them if you can pop in for a while – it could brighten their day as well as yours.

Remember that public transport is cheaper if you get a senior railcard and bus travel is free if you apply for a senior citizen’s bus pass so it needn’t cost anything to hop on a local bus to visit a friend or relative.

If there is no transport when you live get in touch with the Royal Voluntary Service who can help you find a nearby volunteer who can provide free transport.

Plan Your Weeks and Months

You may not always be able to be out and about and active in your community, especially if you have health or mobility problems already but putting a few events in your diary can give you something to look forward to. This is a good way for everyone, whatever or age, to feel less lonely.

A cinema trip planned for when a new film is released or even a simple trip to the library to return your books can make the week or month seem less empty. So grab a new diary or wall calendar if you don’t already have one and start filling it with events and activities.